What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why are people so rude to debt collector’s? I am one and I am so tired of being mistreated. We are under paid and then have to deal with the most ungrateful, and disrespectful people. We aren’t customer service. Don’t get mad at us because YOU owe.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why are leftist movements so popular among young people?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

How do you stop your balls from sweating?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I am still studying engineering. I feel worried being an average student. Can I get a good job in placement, buy a house, and a car? I don't know why I feel this.

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”